Coming out of the closet..

For all my life, I’ve pretty much been a low-profile person who never liked being in the centre of attention. Some of my friends would say that I’m a closet mugger, especially when I love doing things on my own quietly.

I’d say I enjoy having personal space and quietness and have no problem dealing with solitude… such that I don’t need people to be around for motivation or affirmation.

As written sometime earlier, you know how some things change when everyone knows about it? Simply because everyone thinks he/she is part of it now.

Contrary to the sentence, I (finally) came out of the closet by setting up… sort of like an online portfolio yesterday. It’s the kind where friends would know about it and the public could view it.

When I started this blog, my main aim was to make it my portfolio and include a tiny blog section where I could share my writings. Oh right…

Then again, given my cautious nature, I was reluctant to “bare it all” so my blog was reduced to how it’s like today. Haha okay, not really THAT bad, but I just remained as a closet blogger.

Most of my friends don’t know that I’m blogging here, and I’d admit this makes sharing much much easier too. I don’t have to “account” to anyone about my life when I’m out of here.

I shared some of my works here, but it’s nothing like a full public showcase, with links being circulated around to try to generate publicity.

When the buzz started, I was literally having cold hands and feet thinking about what I’ve just done. I know I overreacted… to the extent of not having a good night’s sleep yesterday.

The good thing though – people finally saw my work and know I CAN draw despite knowing that I’m an art teacher (duh!). Hahahaha!

Isn’t that always the case?  To get to somewhere, you need people to notice and talk about you, and shamelessly shove your work into people’s faces.

The truth is if nobody knows about you, you can’t go far.

There’s no turning back now though, because that would leave a really bad impression on others. Let’s just say, perhaps I won’t be a closet blogger… soon enough if things work out.

Teenage Flashbacks

“Perhaps I should to draw out some entries from my old blog to reflect upon here,” I thought. And after logging in to my old haunt, I must be out of my mind when I was having this absurd idea.

Last year, there was chaos among netizens when Blogger (the blog hosting site) removed certain blogs which were wrongly marked as spam and viruses.

I did wonder if mine were one of those. After all, I’ve not been blogging and logging in since August 2011.

My heart actually skipped a beat when I couldn’t find my old blog just now. It turned out that Blogger has merged with Google, so I had to sign out of my Google e-mail first.

- December 2005 – August 2011 -

2006 – LOL I burst into laughter upon seeing this. I actually took a photo then my DELL computer screen went crazy…

2006 – Oh well, just fried rice with a rabbit egg from my favorite store. How sad that it’s gone now.

2006 – A rare picture that I would include in this blog, since I’m not used to showing my face. There’s a tragic reason for drawing the mask though…

2006 – Evidence of my first orchestra concert. This place never ever change (it’s still the same when I went there for a concert last month)!

2006 – LOL David Beckham used to be on my towel. How hilarious!

2007 – Treats from teachers for doing well in my exams. Was that the first time it happened?!

2008 – Tuition. Thinking about what to do after O levels. Dilemma.

2008 – My Chemistry teacher stuck this on my prelims paper. Well that was the aim for my O levels.

2009 – So this was one of those sudden bout of concern expressed by a… friend. Haha obviously I was quite offended and took a picture for remembrance. XD

Old and painful memories are still memories, I won’t deny. My little panic attack earlier proved that, though I never liked being reminded of my teenage years.

Too many things happened, that I even formatted my archives to be named as ‘tainted flashbacks’.

Perhaps I just didn’t want my (however cringeworthy) writings to be reduced to nothing since it took me a lot of effort to get them down. My old blog used to be the only outlet for me to let out steam.

Recorded were turbulent teenage years when my life was made up of other’s expectations for me, meeting them to keeping my self-worthiness and dealing with emotional struggles.

I shan’t elaborate more but I’m so so so happy and thankful with how my life is now. Very very very thankful.

The Happy Pill

That’s right. It has been long! I’m finally doing something with my pencils again after producing some compulsory drawings for furthering my education in February.

Sometimes you just need that leap of faith to surprise yourself. I’ve also gotten myself a notebook sized sketchbook (lol) two months ago to work on.

It’s kind of funny that I’m never keen of the idea of keeping a sketchbook, and having lots of unrelated doodles thrown all over the pages.

It just spells messy and I’m extremely particular about order, down to how each object should be placed on my desk.

So here’s what going on my first page. Art kids are my happy pills. I know it looks kind of spooky now (hahaha) without the features on the face.

I’ve actually gotten the features down and made some improvements as I’m writing this post, but I’m not sure if it will be a good idea putting the kid (by now you should have guessed it right? ) up for public viewing without his parents’ consent.

I’d put up the final product again if it’s possible. I’m already excited about how it would look after more work and colours.

Kiddy Talk #3- Big bird

A few weeks ago, a string of hot pink feathers mysteriously surfaced in the art studio where I was working at. It went missing last week, and no more loose feathers were seen there after.

I was having the four year old kid from Kiddy Talk #2 and his elder brother in for art class yesterday, and the little one was being jumpy and funny as usual.

While I was drying his paper clock (artwork of the day!) with the hair dryer, he picked up a huge hot pink feather out of nowhere and…

 

Kid: *loudly with a wide eyed innocent look* This must come from a really BIG bird!

Me: *LOLing uncontrollably*

Haha and you know how kids below the age of five can’t really speak properly, probably because of being too chubby. Hilarious (as always)!